…not by Jack Handey but here are some thoughts with tongue firmly in cheek (kinda).
- If we can’t/won’t tarp sections of Heinz Field then just sell every other seat. This will allow 34,000 fans to cover the entire stadium and if fans put their jackets/bags/blankets on the seat next to them even more of the bright yellow will be covered. It also gives fans more comfort and space to stretch. For games against PSU/WVU/ND, which is maybe one game a year, you sell the remaining seats as singles. That might technically mean you may not sit next to your friend/spouse/significant other for those games but that is a logistic that should be easily worked out unless you are sitting next to a real jerk. It also won’t allow seas of white/gold/green to show up on the stadium landscape from the opposing fans. There may be some friction in sitting next to opposing fans but as Rodney King once famously asked, “can we all get along?”
- We just don’t see enough of the Walt Harris quick kick anymore. I know hindsight is 50/50 but could it hurt?
- Since no one will be at the Rice game anyway, let’s just get Sweet Caroline out of the way after the coin toss. Or maybe play it as a medley with the national anthem. Why stand up twice if you don’t have to?
- Retire more numbers so we can start giving out letters. We are well on our way to that end anyway and this will get air time on every sports show in the country. It will get Pitt’s name out there and make people aware of our rich history. Every big name that ever played at Pitt should have their number retired. You could even have some fun with the LeSean McCoy – Darrelle Revis joint retirement ceremony by hanging the banner with the name L-vis or D-Coy or some other cute combo name. We could even try retiring Davey O’Brien’s #8 since Rick Trocano wasn’t really a household name. Who in the hell is going to remember O’Brien went to TCU?
- If the product doesn’t improve by mid-year they should consider opening practice and closing the games for the remainder of the year. It might be the shot of something new the fans need and ever practice will have a Pitt win of sorts.
- We need uniforms like Maryland. They sucked for so long but no one noticed because the uniforms were so distracting. It was almost like their fans were in a trance. Then they beat Texas and everyone was like, whoa, what the hell just happened there? Who knows, it could buy us some time. We gotta try something, right?
- Darrelle Revis probably still has something in the tank, especially at the college level. He is roughly the same size as Therran Coleman (he might even be related, who knows). So give him Coleman’s uniform and put a reflector visor on his helmet and no one is the wiser. And since the mouths of 18-22 year-olds are like steel traps the secret would be safe with the team.
- 59-21 was not indicative of the closeness of the Oklahoma State game. We were just 3 or 4 100-yard receivers away from winning that game.
- Why do we have so much trouble with the triple-option? They only have 3 choices, right? I could see the octuple-option maybe giving us fits, but triple-option? Really?
- I think you should pay for your game ticket upon leaving the stadium. The longer you stay the cheaper the ticket.
- Just to be a smart-ass I think we should ice PSU’s kicker on his first extra point attempt next year. We piss away time outs anyway so why not have a little fun with one.
That's all.
- If we can’t/won’t tarp sections of Heinz Field then just sell every other seat. This will allow 34,000 fans to cover the entire stadium and if fans put their jackets/bags/blankets on the seat next to them even more of the bright yellow will be covered. It also gives fans more comfort and space to stretch. For games against PSU/WVU/ND, which is maybe one game a year, you sell the remaining seats as singles. That might technically mean you may not sit next to your friend/spouse/significant other for those games but that is a logistic that should be easily worked out unless you are sitting next to a real jerk. It also won’t allow seas of white/gold/green to show up on the stadium landscape from the opposing fans. There may be some friction in sitting next to opposing fans but as Rodney King once famously asked, “can we all get along?”
- We just don’t see enough of the Walt Harris quick kick anymore. I know hindsight is 50/50 but could it hurt?
- Since no one will be at the Rice game anyway, let’s just get Sweet Caroline out of the way after the coin toss. Or maybe play it as a medley with the national anthem. Why stand up twice if you don’t have to?
- Retire more numbers so we can start giving out letters. We are well on our way to that end anyway and this will get air time on every sports show in the country. It will get Pitt’s name out there and make people aware of our rich history. Every big name that ever played at Pitt should have their number retired. You could even have some fun with the LeSean McCoy – Darrelle Revis joint retirement ceremony by hanging the banner with the name L-vis or D-Coy or some other cute combo name. We could even try retiring Davey O’Brien’s #8 since Rick Trocano wasn’t really a household name. Who in the hell is going to remember O’Brien went to TCU?
- If the product doesn’t improve by mid-year they should consider opening practice and closing the games for the remainder of the year. It might be the shot of something new the fans need and ever practice will have a Pitt win of sorts.
- We need uniforms like Maryland. They sucked for so long but no one noticed because the uniforms were so distracting. It was almost like their fans were in a trance. Then they beat Texas and everyone was like, whoa, what the hell just happened there? Who knows, it could buy us some time. We gotta try something, right?
- Darrelle Revis probably still has something in the tank, especially at the college level. He is roughly the same size as Therran Coleman (he might even be related, who knows). So give him Coleman’s uniform and put a reflector visor on his helmet and no one is the wiser. And since the mouths of 18-22 year-olds are like steel traps the secret would be safe with the team.
- 59-21 was not indicative of the closeness of the Oklahoma State game. We were just 3 or 4 100-yard receivers away from winning that game.
- Why do we have so much trouble with the triple-option? They only have 3 choices, right? I could see the octuple-option maybe giving us fits, but triple-option? Really?
- I think you should pay for your game ticket upon leaving the stadium. The longer you stay the cheaper the ticket.
- Just to be a smart-ass I think we should ice PSU’s kicker on his first extra point attempt next year. We piss away time outs anyway so why not have a little fun with one.
That's all.
