Let’s talk about the goal. Was the goalie chained to the crossbar or something?
As for all-time flops, Pepe owns the two best or worst I have seen, both while playing for Real Madrid. Once against Messi when he deliberately stepped on Messi’s hand after Ramos had knocked him down and then went down writhing in fake pain as though his ankle had been broken by Messi’s hand. He got a red card and the notoriously pro-Madrid sports daily MARCA the next day ran a poll asking readers to vote on how long Pepe should be suspended. The consensus was 3 games but he only got the automatic minimum of one game from La Liga. (Had they run that poll in one of the pro-Barca tabloids the consensus would have been a firing squad.)
The other, on what was supposed to be the last play of extra time, RM had a corner, losing 2-1 to a small Basque Country team. Pepe went into the penalty area, grabbed a defender from behind and pulled the defender down on top of him, then screamed for a penalty. Incredibly, he got it and CR7 tied the match. The ref then decided they would continue to play until RM won, and in the 14th minute of 5 minutes of extra time, RM scored when Higuan netted on a breakaway where he was a good 2 yards offside and the flags stayed down in pre-video replay days).