Two Coffees in Heaven

[NCPitt]

From the interwebz:

Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven, Barack Obama meets a man with a beard.

'Are you Mohammed?' he asks.

'No, my son, I am St. Peter. Mohammed is higher up.' Peter then points to a ladder that rises into the clouds.

Delighted that Mohammed should be higher than St. Peter, Obama climbs the ladder in great strides, climbs up through the clouds and comes into a room where he meets another bearded man. He asks again, 'Are you Mohammed?'

'Why no,' he answers, 'I am Moses; Mohammed is higher still.'

Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy, he climbs the ladder yet again. He discovers a larger room where he meets an Angelic looking man with a beard. Full of hope, he asks again, 'Are you Mohammed?'

'No, I am Jesus, the Christ; You will find Mohammed higher up.'

Mohammed higher than Jesus! Man, oh man! Obama can hardly contain his delight and climbs and climbs ever higher.

Once again, he reaches an even larger room where he meets this truly magnificent looking man with a silver white beard and once again repeats his question: 'Are you Mohammed?' he gasps as he is by now totally out of breath from all his climbing.

'No, my son, I am Almighty God, the Alpha and the Omega, but you look exhausted. Would you like a cup of coffee?'

Obama says, 'Yes, please!'

As God looks behind him, he claps his hands and yells out: "Yo, Mohammed, two coffees!"

Keep your trust in God. Your president is an idiot.

The only problem with this story is that Obama will never see the Gates of Heaven.

 

[SoufOaklin4Life]

And that he's a Christian.

Thanks for sharing your spam, King Troll.

 

[HailtoPitt]

From the interwebz:

Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven, Barack Obama meets a man with a beard.

'Are you Mohammed?' he asks.

'No, my son, I am St. Peter. Mohammed is higher up.' Peter then points to a ladder that rises into the clouds.

Delighted that Mohammed should be higher than St. Peter, Obama climbs the ladder in great strides, climbs up through the clouds and comes into a room where he meets another bearded man. He asks again, 'Are you Mohammed?'

'Why no,' he answers, 'I am Moses; Mohammed is higher still.'

Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy, he climbs the ladder yet again. He discovers a larger room where he meets an Angelic looking man with a beard. Full of hope, he asks again, 'Are you Mohammed?'

'No, I am Jesus, the Christ; You will find Mohammed higher up.'

Mohammed higher than Jesus! Man, oh man! Obama can hardly contain his delight and climbs and climbs ever higher.

Once again, he reaches an even larger room where he meets this truly magnificent looking man with a silver white beard and once again repeats his question: 'Are you Mohammed?' he gasps as he is by now totally out of breath from all his climbing.

'No, my son, I am Almighty God, the Alpha and the Omega, but you look exhausted. Would you like a cup of coffee?'

Obama says, 'Yes, please!'

As God looks behind him, he claps his hands and yells out: "Yo, Mohammed, two coffees!"

Keep your trust in God. Your president is an idiot.

The only problem with this story is that Obama will never see the Gates of Heaven.

Is there coffee in heaven?

 

[SoufOaklin4Life]

Is there coffee in heaven?

I assumed caffeine being a drug and all, would be frowed upon.

 

[NCPitt]

Is there coffee in heaven?

I hope so.

 

[NTOP]

I hope so.

Are there Muslims in heaven??

 

[NCPitt]

Are there Muslims in heaven??

Don't think so.

It should be safe there.

 

[deepelemblues]

I think heaven works a little differently than that.

Pretty sure only Mormons get in, for example.

 

[SoufOaklin4Life]

I think heaven works a little differently than that.

Pretty sure only Mormons get in, for example.

Ultimately only 144k get to staY.

 

[HailtoPitt]

Do they have Mountain Dew there?

 

[ricflair4LIFE]

Don't think so.

It should be safe there.

A lot of Christians aren't in heaven either.

 

[NCPitt]

A lot of Christians aren't in heaven either.

Correct.

People like Pelosi and Biden don't have a chance.

 

[SoufOaklin4Life]

Correct.

People like Pelosi and Biden don't have a chance.

neither do you.
;-)

 

[NCPitt]

neither do you.
;-)

My entry is guaranteed.

I'm 100% certain.

 

[HailtoPitt]

Is Laura Bush getting in?

 

[SoufOaklin4Life]

My entry is guaranteed.

I'm 100% certain.

My source is impeccable, and you're not on the list.

 

[BPKY]

Is there coffee in heaven?

Yes, but no beer. That's why we drink it here.

 

[NCPitt]

Is Laura Bush getting in?

I don't know whether she has accepted Christ as her Lord and Savior, so I can't answer that question.

 

[NCPitt]

My source is impeccable, and you're not on the list.

Who is your source?

 

[SoufOaklin4Life]

Who is your source?

Jesus of course.

 

[KiwiJeff]

Jesus of course.

Of course this whole thread is stupid. We know that it would be mo's sworn duty to kill all infidels. he'd likely be wearing an explosive vest under his waiter uniform.

 

[NCPitt]

Jesus of course.

Well, we have been informed by you yourself that you don't know Jesus, so that can't be true.

Of course, we all know that you are just trolling as usual.

 

[SoufOaklin4Life]

Well, we have been informed by you yourself that you don't know Jesus, so that can't be true.

Of course, we all know that you are just trolling as usual.

I do , he speaks to me often. Nice guy, he tells me you have it all wrong like most evangelicals.

 

[NCPitt]

I do , he speaks to me often. Nice guy, he tells me you have it all wrong like most evangelicals.

The only Jesus you know is the landscaper for your business...and he probably is a nice guy.

 

[SoufOaklin4Life]

The only Jesus you know is the landscaper for your business...and he probably is a nice guy.

And that's why you aren't getting in.