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You was watchin' Pitt football...

TheWerewolfFromTwilight

Athletic Director
Oct 25, 2021
15,632
12,741
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Coach ain't go for the tuddie down 7 on 4th and goal .

Dat's a coachin' malpractice.

Now you in the hospital cause you banged ya head off the wall.

Doctor says you might have a concussion.

Says you might not remember the time Pitt lost 72-0 and you vowed to never watch again.

Now you watchin' again, and they ain't tacklin' nobody.

You throw a object at the TV.

TV falls on ya wife.

Now she goin' into labor.

She gotta have a C-section.

Baby come out prematurely.

His brain too tiny.

Now he a Pitt fan, cause he ain't know no better.

You ain't want that baby to be a Pitt fan.

You ain't want that baby to know 75 years of pain.

It was a accident.

They happen every day.

It could happen to you.

That tiny baby growin' up fast.

He five today.

You at the grocery store, buyin' him a birthday cake.

It's a Pitt cake.

You asked for the script, but the cake decorator gave you block.

Now you throwin' up ya arms in distress.

The floors is all wet.

Deli associate ain't mop it right.

You slip and fall.

It was a beautiful day.

You was gonna get that cake and make a fruit salad.

Now you on ya back, like you hostin' a Hugh Freeze recruit.

You think you paralyzed.

Why you ain't mop that floor right?

Ambulance come and take you away.

You goin' back to the hospital.

You bout to get rich.

Cake error and a wet floor in the same trip?

Dat's a millionaire's parlay.

Uh oh, we got a problem...

Drunk driver just hit into da ambulance.

He get out the car.

Empties is rollin' down the street.

He wearin' a WVU pullover.

HGGYBEAR novelty plate.

Why you hit me, coach?

Why you bout to make me more rich?

Now you livin' in the nice part of town.

Suburb of Pixburgh.

Ya Pitt fan kid is bout to go D1.

He a 4 star.

But he ain't committin' to Pitt.

Naw, he live in a nice area now.

He goin' to Penn State.

His mama cryin'.

She wore a Pitt hoodie to da commitment ceremony.

But Terry Smith say he can start.

He ain't startin' tho.

He gettin' water for Nick Singleton.

He rubbin' knots out Nick's calves.

Dat's recruitment fraud.

Now he tryna transfer back home.

But Pitt say we ain't got no money to pay him.

No money???

But Duzz makin' 6.7 mil a year.

Dat's a million per win.

And y'all got that volleyball fortress up on the hill.

Who pay like that for volleyball?

Dat's athletic department negligence.

Now he transferrin' to Western Carolina.

But they lookin' at him funny.

Why they lookin' at ya boy like that?

Ohhh, I get it.

They don't like no one from Pixburgh.

Pixburgh steal all their coaches and players.

Pixburgh like them FCS boys.

He don't even know what a catamount is, but they throwin' trash on his lawn for bein' one.

Trash bring bears.

Mama black bear show up at his front door.

She ain't playin' today.

She a Cal fan.

They just blew a 40-point lead to Miami.

Ya boy open up the door and get bit.

Dat's a wild animal attack cause of da trash.

Now he done wit playin' football.

He move out to da Bayou.

He filmin' practices for coach.

Coach tell him climb up this tower.

But Coach Kelly, it's windy today.

Don't matter, boy. Get up that tower.

Your boy climb up like Arnie Grape.

Tower shakin'.

Think we goin' down.

Ya boy end up in a swamp.

Eaten by a gator.

I think we got somethin' here.

Think you need to call Top Dog.

Think you bout to be Scrooge McDuck.

Quack, quack - da money is back.

You an Oregon fan this week.

Go to da park and get dat bread, Duck.

Oregon 30 - Penn State 20
 
I enjoyed that, the Cobbler has his work cut out if he wants to top this.

Call me crazy but I think PSU has a decent chance at beating Oregon and then getting the number 1 overall seed, or at least #2 if Texas wins the SEC. I don't think PSU is the best team in the country, and don't think they will win it all ... I think Franklin's coaching will hold them back at some point during the playoffs ... but I think they have a shot versus Oregon.
 
Coach ain't go for the tuddie down 7 on 4th and goal .

Dat's a coachin' malpractice.

Now you in the hospital cause you banged ya head off the wall.

Doctor says you might have a concussion.

Says you might not remember the time Pitt lost 72-0 and you vowed to never watch again.

Now you watchin' again, and they ain't tacklin' nobody.

You throw a object at the TV.

TV falls on ya wife.

Now she goin' into labor.

She gotta have a C-section.

Baby come out prematurely.

His brain too tiny.

Now he a Pitt fan, cause he ain't know no better.

You ain't want that baby to be a Pitt fan.

You ain't want that baby to know 75 years of pain.

It was a accident.

They happen every day.

It could happen to you.

That tiny baby growin' up fast.

He five today.

You at the grocery store, buyin' him a birthday cake.

It's a Pitt cake.

You asked for the script, but the cake decorator gave you block.

Now you throwin' up ya arms in distress.

The floors is all wet.

Deli associate ain't mop it right.

You slip and fall.

It was a beautiful day.

You was gonna get that cake and make a fruit salad.

Now you on ya back, like you hostin' a Hugh Freeze recruit.

You think you paralyzed.

Why you ain't mop that floor right?

Ambulance come and take you away.

You goin' back to the hospital.

You bout to get rich.

Cake error and a wet floor in the same trip?

Dat's a millionaire's parlay.

Uh oh, we got a problem...

Drunk driver just hit into da ambulance.

He get out the car.

Empties is rollin' down the street.

He wearin' a WVU pullover.

HGGYBEAR novelty plate.

Why you hit me, coach?

Why you bout to make me more rich?

Now you livin' in the nice part of town.

Suburb of Pixburgh.

Ya Pitt fan kid is bout to go D1.

He a 4 star.

But he ain't committin' to Pitt.

Naw, he live in a nice area now.

He goin' to Penn State.

His mama cryin'.

She wore a Pitt hoodie to da commitment ceremony.

But Terry Smith say he can start.

He ain't startin' tho.

He gettin' water for Nick Singleton.

He rubbin' knots out Nick's calves.

Dat's recruitment fraud.

Now he tryna transfer back home.

But Pitt say we ain't got no money to pay him.

No money???

But Duzz makin' 6.7 mil a year.

Dat's a million per win.

And y'all got that volleyball fortress up on the hill.

Who pay like that for volleyball?

Dat's athletic department negligence.

Now he transferrin' to Western Carolina.

But they lookin' at him funny.

Why they lookin' at ya boy like that?

Ohhh, I get it.

They don't like no one from Pixburgh.

Pixburgh steal all their coaches and players.

Pixburgh like them FCS boys.

He don't even know what a catamount is, but they throwin' trash on his lawn for bein' one.

Trash bring bears.

Mama black bear show up at his front door.

She ain't playin' today.

She a Cal fan.

They just blew a 40-point lead to Miami.

Ya boy open up the door and get bit.

Dat's a wild animal attack cause of da trash.

Now he done wit playin' football.

He move out to da Bayou.

He filmin' practices for coach.

Coach tell him climb up this tower.

But Coach Kelly, it's windy today.

Don't matter, boy. Get up that tower.

Your boy climb up like Arnie Grape.

Tower shakin'.

Think we goin' down.

Ya boy end up in a swamp.

Eaten by a gator.

I think we got somethin' here.

Think you need to call Top Dog.

Think you bout to be Scrooge McDuck.

Quack, quack - da money is back.

You an Oregon fan this week.

Go to da park and get dat bread, Duck.

Oregon 30 - Penn State 20
You have wayyyyy too much free time on your hands.... Happy holidays though.
Despicable Me Dance GIF
 
I enjoyed that, the Cobbler has his work cut out if he wants to top this.

Call me crazy but I think PSU has a decent chance at beating Oregon and then getting the number 1 overall seed, or at least #2 if Texas wins the SEC. I don't think PSU is the best team in the country, and don't think they will win it all ... I think Franklin's coaching will hold them back at some point during the playoffs ... but I think they have a shot versus Oregon.

Of course they have a shot because their players are as good or better than Oregon's. And their D wont allow Oregon to put up a ton of points. But Franklin cant beat good teams. So Oregon 24-PSU 20
 
Mario Cristobal. 4th and Goal from the 10. With that defense he has, you gotta go for that.

That doesn't hold a candle to what they did against GT last season. But yeah - they should have went for it.

Although it probably shouldn't have gotten to that point. Officials wiped Syracuse's first TD off the board because they said five guys were in the backfield. But the official they consulted during the broadcast said the one guys was pretty much on the line and it shouldn't have been called. They didn't end up getting any points.
 
Coach ain't go for the tuddie down 7 on 4th and goal .

Dat's a coachin' malpractice.

Now you in the hospital cause you banged ya head off the wall.

Doctor says you might have a concussion.

Says you might not remember the time Pitt lost 72-0 and you vowed to never watch again.

Now you watchin' again, and they ain't tacklin' nobody.

You throw a object at the TV.

TV falls on ya wife.

Now she goin' into labor.

She gotta have a C-section.

Baby come out prematurely.

His brain too tiny.

Now he a Pitt fan, cause he ain't know no better.

You ain't want that baby to be a Pitt fan.

You ain't want that baby to know 75 years of pain.

It was a accident.

They happen every day.

It could happen to you.

That tiny baby growin' up fast.

He five today.

You at the grocery store, buyin' him a birthday cake.

It's a Pitt cake.

You asked for the script, but the cake decorator gave you block.

Now you throwin' up ya arms in distress.

The floors is all wet.

Deli associate ain't mop it right.

You slip and fall.

It was a beautiful day.

You was gonna get that cake and make a fruit salad.

Now you on ya back, like you hostin' a Hugh Freeze recruit.

You think you paralyzed.

Why you ain't mop that floor right?

Ambulance come and take you away.

You goin' back to the hospital.

You bout to get rich.

Cake error and a wet floor in the same trip?

Dat's a millionaire's parlay.

Uh oh, we got a problem...

Drunk driver just hit into da ambulance.

He get out the car.

Empties is rollin' down the street.

He wearin' a WVU pullover.

HGGYBEAR novelty plate.

Why you hit me, coach?

Why you bout to make me more rich?

Now you livin' in the nice part of town.

Suburb of Pixburgh.

Ya Pitt fan kid is bout to go D1.

He a 4 star.

But he ain't committin' to Pitt.

Naw, he live in a nice area now.

He goin' to Penn State.

His mama cryin'.

She wore a Pitt hoodie to da commitment ceremony.

But Terry Smith say he can start.

He ain't startin' tho.

He gettin' water for Nick Singleton.

He rubbin' knots out Nick's calves.

Dat's recruitment fraud.

Now he tryna transfer back home.

But Pitt say we ain't got no money to pay him.

No money???

But Duzz makin' 6.7 mil a year.

Dat's a million per win.

And y'all got that volleyball fortress up on the hill.

Who pay like that for volleyball?

Dat's athletic department negligence.

Now he transferrin' to Western Carolina.

But they lookin' at him funny.

Why they lookin' at ya boy like that?

Ohhh, I get it.

They don't like no one from Pixburgh.

Pixburgh steal all their coaches and players.

Pixburgh like them FCS boys.

He don't even know what a catamount is, but they throwin' trash on his lawn for bein' one.

Trash bring bears.

Mama black bear show up at his front door.

She ain't playin' today.

She a Cal fan.

They just blew a 40-point lead to Miami.

Ya boy open up the door and get bit.

Dat's a wild animal attack cause of da trash.

Now he done wit playin' football.

He move out to da Bayou.

He filmin' practices for coach.

Coach tell him climb up this tower.

But Coach Kelly, it's windy today.

Don't matter, boy. Get up that tower.

Your boy climb up like Arnie Grape.

Tower shakin'.

Think we goin' down.

Ya boy end up in a swamp.

Eaten by a gator.

I think we got somethin' here.

Think you need to call Top Dog.

Think you bout to be Scrooge McDuck.

Quack, quack - da money is back.

You an Oregon fan this week.

Go to da park and get dat bread, Duck.

Oregon 30 - Penn State 20
Eff it, i’m taking the rest of the week off. I’m done, absolutely done. This may be the best thing I’ve ever read on the internet.

Top Dog ought to hire you immediately!
 
I enjoyed that, the Cobbler has his work cut out if he wants to top this.

Call me crazy but I think PSU has a decent chance at beating Oregon and then getting the number 1 overall seed, or at least #2 if Texas wins the SEC. I don't think PSU is the best team in the country, and don't think they will win it all ... I think Franklin's coaching will hold them back at some point during the playoffs ... but I think they have a shot versus Oregon.

I've not watched a ton of either team, but I wouldn't be surprised if Penn State is better in the trenches. I just have to imagine that Oregon can scheme a TD or two up, while Penn State's offense is pretty inept.

If I was a conspiracy theorist, I might think the Oregon goes totally vanilla, though. If they lose, they get that 5-seed. That means the first two opponents are Arizona State/Iowa State and Boise State (if everything ends up going chalk)... or it could even be UNLV and then the Arizona State/Iowa State winner.

If they win, sure - they get a valuable first round bye. But then they might get the Ohio State/Tennessee winner next. I might choose Door #1. but I doubt coaches think that way.
 
Of course they have a shot because their players are as good or better than Oregon's. And their D wont allow Oregon to put up a ton of points. But Franklin cant beat good teams. So Oregon 24-PSU 20
their players are as good or better than Oregon's

Do you actually believe that to be true? Because it isn't. Not on paper, and not on the field. And Oregon is fast--much faster than PSU. Not to say PSU can't win that game, just like many other top 10 teams this year Oregon is not a juggernaut, but I don't think the odds are good for them to.

To me, this looks like a bad matchup for PSU. Mobile dual threat QBs have never been kind to them. And PSU is slow on offense, Plodding even. If I'm putting money on it, and I might, I take Oregon -3.5 all day.
 
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