A few years ago, when Pittsburgh hosted the MLB All-Star game, my wife and I went to all of the festivities.
One of the most hilarious scenes I've ever seen at a game happened at the celebrity softball game.
My wife and I were sitting there minding our own business. We were chitchatting with some of the people around us and we were all there having a good time. The game obviously meant nothing and we were all there just having a nice day at PNC Park. The mood in our section was very lighthearted and fun.
Then, in comes this guy (wearing a Penn State polo) with his wife and kids and another male adult. It took this guy no more than five minutes to just completely change the atmosphere of our section.
He was treating the softball game like it was a real competition. He was actively cheering for one side. It was very strange....and also somewhat hilarious.
I mean, who does that? Seriously, I thought we are being put on it first.
What wasn't as funny was how openly nasty and dismissive he was to his wife and kids. It seemed like every time any of them spoke to him, while he was talking to his friend/business associate? he would basically explode on them.
It was extremely uncomfortable for everyone around them. His behavior was bizarre.
Also, as the unlucky soul who happened to be seated directly next to his friend, I couldn't help but overhear their conversation. It was a little bit formal so I don't think they were close friends.
Most notably, the friend was asking about Pittsburgh and its sports loyalties. Naturally, the douche bag asserts that the most popular team is "probably the Steelers" and followed closely by Penn State. He then said that nobody really cares about any of the other sports teams.
I wanted to chime in but I just kept my mouth shut for obvious reasons. There was no upside to engaging that weirdo.
Then, it happened....
Up to the plate stepped one of the celebrity All Stars and it was former Steelers and Penn State legend, Franco Harris. Sadly, Franco did not have his cardboard cut out with him.
Anyway, after they announce Franco's name, this guy winks at his friend and says "Watch this," with the bizarre level of confidence.
He then stands up and turns to the section behind us, cups his hands over his mouth, and confidently yells, "WE ARE..."
[silence]
Undeterred (of course he was undeterred – this man had the self-awareness of a rock quarry) he repeats the process and says, "I said, WE ARE..."
[again nothing]
At this point, Captain douche nozzle is completely exasperated with the lame crowd. That in and of itself is completely hilarious. He warns the crowd that he's going to give them one more chance.
He then confidently positions himself, cups his hands over his mouth and one more time, with all his heart pronounces to the world behind him, "WE ARE..."
Finally, someone in the crowd yells out, "You are at a baseball game, asshole. Sit down and shut up!"
I couldn't hold it in any longer. I was openly belly laughing right next to the guy. It'd taken a weird, offputting, slightly upsetting and painfully awkward situation that had persisted for several innings and turned it into something that was hilarious.
To make matters worse many of the other people in our section then began to jeer this guy. I mean they really hated him every bit as much as I did, which surprised me. I didn't realize that everyone there was so in tuned with what a goofball that man was acting like.
However, to be fair, I think people were put off by the way he treated his wife and kids as they were his cheerleading efforts. He really was over-the-top nasty to them.
Whatever the reason, at the end of the inning, that man told his wife and kids that they were leaving because the whole scene was - in his estimation - lame (presumably because they refused to engage in a Penn State chants at a celebrity All-Star game being staged in Pittsburgh).
And of course, as he was leaving, some members of our section began to sing the "Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye" song. It was really funny/strange/sad. It also took an otherwise boring and lame celebrity All-Star game and made that the highlight of that weekend. That was by far the best thing I saw during that All-Star weekend.