OT: Funniest thing I’ve read today
- Thread starter RaleighPittFan
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I wonder if this would fall under the dwarf tossing laws in Florida and NY?
I recall hearing a story about a bar that straddled the Florida/Alabama state line. When Florida banned dwarf tossing, the bar got clever and had them thrown from the Alabama side (where it was still legal) and land on the Florida side because the law was against tossing, not landing.
In general, I find it pretty heinous. But, the libertarian in me says that if the dwarf is an adult and consents and understands the risks, who am I to stop it?
That's fantastic. There is a bar near me that says they are having Dwarf wrestling this summer. setting up a ring outside, having a company come in tha supplies the wrestlers and they do it all. different characters and everything...
im pretty excited for it..
i dont think they can get hurt, they have like super human strength.. This is their gift, they are built to be thrown.... like a lawn dart.. they are top heavy, they are built for accuracy..
I think I recall seeing Andre the Giant wrestle 3 midgets at the same time.
i was quoting Wolf of wall street.
But back to your post, i saw a show that had 100 midgets pulling an airplane racing against an elephant pulling an airplane. i was watching it with my niece who was like 5 at the time and the look of confusion on her face was epic..
it was the same show that kobayashi (the hot dog eating guy who was good before Joey Chestnut) had a contest against a grizzly bear with hot dogs i think. again, just a strange show. i think the 3rd contest was a olympic sprinter racing a giraffe..
I was waiting for the reference to show up on this thread
For better or for worse, I think that was me. And this isn't going to do much to sway me into thinking I'm wrong.
dwarf jokes aside, i truly miss the art of jumping over the goal line that was epic in the 80's and 90's. Marcus allen was good at it but there was only one true master at this craft..
dwarf jokes aside, i truly miss the art of jumping over the goal line that was epic in the 80's and 90's. Marcus allen was good at it but there was only one true master at this craft..
much better than current tush push
twitter is usually a cesspool, but this is one time where the comments are pretty funny.
Finally, a use for kickers. Well, maybe not the fat ones like PSU gets, but I think tossing a 120 pound kicker over the line would be cool.
Aesthetically, yes, but just knowing how kickers are, throwing one over the line of scrimmage and watching them get hit is a hilarious thought to anyone who actually has to make contact every day in practice. That's mostly anyone whose hands are in the dirt.
I have a short yardage idea. Not as good as midgets though.
You get your QB or RB with the ball behind your guard or tackle. Just push in not really going anywhere. Then a player runs out lateral and behind. Bam. Rugby pass and you're off to the races. More a 3rd and short play or 4th down from just inside midfield though.
Nobody defends horizontally in American FB. This rugby type play would be deadly.
To the naysayers who thinks a CFB player couldn't execute the pass, get a 12 year farm kid from NZ. They can do it then out drink everyone after the game.
You get your QB or RB with the ball behind your guard or tackle. Just push in not really going anywhere. Then a player runs out lateral and behind. Bam. Rugby pass and you're off to the races. More a 3rd and short play or 4th down from just inside midfield though.
Nobody defends horizontally in American FB. This rugby type play would be deadly.
To the naysayers who thinks a CFB player couldn't execute the pass, get a 12 year farm kid from NZ. They can do it then out drink everyone after the game.
I have 2 ideas that I have no idea why no one has ever tried.
1. Get a 7'0 guy from the basketball team and have him be the designated FG/XP blocker. Just put him on the roster. Don't travel him if you don't want but have him come to home games, give him pads and a helmet and have him block kicks. Or maybe one of those 6'7 jump out of the gym dudes like a Zack Austin.
2. Suit up the club rugby team for home games and in the case you need a miracle game-ending kickoff return or have the ball with 3 seconds left from your own 20, sub them in and let them play rugby for the last play. The lateraling it backwards is their whole game.
Aren't you a rugby guy? Do you think a college club rugby team would have a better chance of returning a kickoff for a TD than football players, who don't practice that type of play?
I'm sure a bunch of guys who weren't good enough to play college football would be perfect.
The odds of a last second miracle kickoff return are like, what 1 in 10,000? It's hard to do worse than that. I am suggesting a completely different approach, ie, a rugby team whose whole game revolves around laterals. The issue would be that they are essentially D3 level athletes but it's worth a shot.
Sure, just ignore the athletes who have been showing up for 4AM workouts in the offseason.
I think a 7'5" guy for field goals would work better than the other one. Hell, get three of them. They wouldn't block an XP, because they'd just move the snap back or the kicker would put a crazy trajectory on it. But they might affect a long field goal.
Of course, and I feel like I have to mention this at least once per year, this wouldn't work in college football, because there are no such things as field goals. The play is dead as soon as the holder catches the ball with his knee on the ground. But I digress.
Anyway... sumo wrestler goalie, anyone?
History has proven the guys who wake up at 4AM are horrible at last second miracle KO returns. I mean I get that it's a near impossible play but I do believe that D3 level athletes who play college club rugby would have better odds of converting such a play, especially if said team practices the play against a Pitt football scout team every once in awhile.
History also has proven that D3 level athletes aren't very successful against D1 football teams.
I've thought of the sumo wrestler goalie. I'm not sure what the physics say about how fat you can be and still stand up on skates but are there humans large enough to block an entire goal AND stand on skates? These are questions that many people want to know.
In regular football. A kickoff return isn't a normal football player. It's like someone in 1940 saying we shouldn't have some scrawny-ass kicking specialist do the kicking because they aren't a D1 level football player.
Steelers had a kicking specialist in 1933. 🤷♂️
Edit: I know you're trying to figure out a clever response but this wasn't a foreign concept to football. There was general recognition that a specialist would be better at kicking but teams were sort of hesitant to reserve a roster spot for someone so specialized. Was pretty common in college for a long time.
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Sumo wrestler won't cover the entire goal, and they'd have a massive five hole. They would need to move to be able to cut down angles and cover the post.
I'm saying this myth is busted.
Not a US college rugby team. But maybe some high school kids from Southland. They are up at 4 am milking cows, then go to school, then rugby practice, then milk cows again.
To make it most effective, would need to graze some cows and sheep on the field a few days before the game. Then the city boys in the opposing kickoff team would be afraid of stepping in the poo and would be moving slowly watching their step instead of the ball.
They really should put something in the rule book to make an exception for the holder. I wonder why they've never done that?
🤪 🤷♀️
It's in there? I'll have to check out the wording to see if it's to my satisfaction. I'm especially skeptical on how it's worded to describe when the holder becomes a passer. This is to be determined...
I'd like to see what constitutes a FG formation though. Like let's say we snap the ball to Eli on a normal play but he slips and his knee touches, I'd tell him to keep running the play and we'll tell the refs it was a fake FG.
Yeah, it's in there. It basically says something like if a player is lined up to kick the ball the ball is not down if a teammate is holding the ball for a potential kick. So, for example, if you see a goofy fake field goal where the kicker goes in motion before the ball is snapped the holder would have to have his knee off the ground when he caught the ball or he would be down, because he wouldn't have a teammate in position for a kick.
From the NCAA rule book:
ARTICLE 3 A live ball becomes dead and an official shall sound their whistle or declare it dead:
b When any part of the ball carrier’s body, except the hand or foot, touches the ground or when the ball carrier is tackled or otherwise falls and loses possession of the ball as they contact the ground with any part of their body, except the hand or foot [Exception: The ball remains alive when an offensive player has simulated a kick or at the snap is in position to kick the ball held for a place kick by a teammate The ball may be kicked, passed or advanced by rule] (AR 4-1-3-I)
ARTICLE 3 A live ball becomes dead and an official shall sound their whistle or declare it dead:
b When any part of the ball carrier’s body, except the hand or foot, touches the ground or when the ball carrier is tackled or otherwise falls and loses possession of the ball as they contact the ground with any part of their body, except the hand or foot [Exception: The ball remains alive when an offensive player has simulated a kick or at the snap is in position to kick the ball held for a place kick by a teammate The ball may be kicked, passed or advanced by rule] (AR 4-1-3-I)
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