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Public Bathrooms Question

Oct 25, 2021
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Alright, this has now happened enough times that it can't just be my paranoia or some coincidence. Every time I go in to use a urinal and someone is doing something unholy in the stall, it seems like they rush out of there to "join me" once I'm washing my hands. It's weird, because I'm the only other person in there and I'm obviously pretty close to leaving. Common sense would tell me they'd just wait an extra 30 seconds to exit the stall. But they don't; they fly out of there like bats exiting Hell.

So I'm just trying to figure out what the play is here, because there is obviously something they're aiming to achieve. Some things I have thought of:

1) In the event that the smell escapes the confines of the bathroom, they want to leave at least some level of mystery when it comes to who is responsible for it. Two guys walking out in succession at least creates some doubt, whereas them making the walk of shame on their own pretty much makes it an open and shut case.

2) They take a perverse sense of pride in what they've done, and they want me to see the man behind the curtain. I honestly think this is the case with some of them. I refuse to look them in the face, but they don't know that beforehand. And some will come out and immediately strike up a conversation and begin laughing. I'm just not sure how you could be in such a jovial mood in that setting unless it's because your plan is unfolding exactly as you intended.

3) They are employees who have been killing time on the can, and they think I might be their boss. Now this would probably be debunked quickly if they could see my pants/footwear, but I'm honestly not sure what the vantage point is like in there because I wouldn't do that in a public toilet even if the fate of humanity depended on it.

Is this something others have noticed? Is there a methodology to this madness that I've just never heard of to this point in life? Because I'm sick of feeling like me flushing a urinal is activating some sort of Rube Goldberg contraption that eventually leads to a a bowling ball landing on a 2x4 that catapults a man off the throne. It's to a point where I'm about to start having fake phone conversations while I'm peeing, "Yeah - this Leprosy really sucks, man. I feel bad for anyone who comes within five feet of me. Really takes my mind off the Polio, though." I don't mean to make light of a legit issue, but how the hell am I to keep them stallbound?
 
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Why are you worried that someone is washing their hands at the same time as you? Why should they waste time waiting for you to leave. They have enough confidence to walk out and not be embarrassed. It appears you do not have that confidence to leave a bathroom stall after doing your business.

This is a you issue not their issue.
 
Why are you worried that someone is washing their hands at the same time as you? Why should they waste time waiting for you to leave. They have enough confidence to walk out and not be embarrassed. It appears you do not have that confidence to leave a bathroom stall after doing your business.

This is a you issue not their issue.

I do not enter bathroom stalls.

And it would be one thing if it happened every now and then. But it happens almost every time. They jump up and all but sprint out, as if they had been waiting on some sucker to pin their work on.
 
And it would be one thing if it happened every now and then. But it happens almost every time. They jump up and all but sprint out, as if they had been waiting on some sucker to pin their work on.
Any chance you've mentioned this to a colleague because I have to tell, I've worked places where we would make sure you were tormented over this.
 
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Any chance you've mentioned this to a colleague because I have to tell, I've worked places where we would make sure you were tormented over this.

We have a single occupancy bathroom here, thankfully. I don't have to deal with this madness. Because my last job is actually the first place I noticed how many people like to play stallball.
 
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latest
 
Alright, this has now happened enough times that it can't just be my paranoia or some coincidence. Every time I go in to use a urinal and someone is doing something unholy in the stall, it seems like they rush out of there to "join me" once I'm washing my hands. It's weird, because I'm the only other person in there and I'm obviously pretty close to leaving. Common sense would tell me they'd just wait an extra 30 seconds to exit the stall. But they don't; they fly out of there like bats exiting Hell.

So I'm just trying to figure out what the play is here, because there is obviously something they're aiming to achieve. Some things I have thought of:

1) In the event that the smell escapes the confines of the bathroom, they want to leave at least some level of mystery when it comes to who is responsible for it. Two guys walking out in succession at least creates some doubt, whereas them making the walk of shame on their own pretty much makes it an open and shut case.

2) They take a perverse sense of pride in what they've done, and they want me to see the man behind the curtain. I honestly think this is the case with some of them. I refuse to look them in the face, but they don't know that beforehand. And some will come out and immediately strike up a conversation and begin laughing. I'm just not sure how you could be in such a jovial mood in that setting unless it's because your plan is unfolding exactly as you intended.

3) They are employees who have been killing time on the can, and they think I might be their boss. Now this would probably be debunked quickly if they could see my pants/footwear, but I'm honestly not sure what the vantage point is like in there because I wouldn't do that in a public toilet even if the fate of humanity depended on it.

Is this something others have noticed? Is there a methodology to this madness that I've just never heard of to this point in life? Because I'm sick of feeling like me flushing a urinal is activating some sort of Rube Goldberg contraption that eventually leads to a a bowling ball landing on a 2x4 that catapults a man off the throne. It's to a point where I'm about to start having fake phone conversations while I'm peeing, "Yeah - this Leprosy really sucks, man. I feel bad for anyone who comes within five feet of me. Really takes my mind off the Polio, though." I don't mean to make light of a legit issue, but how the hell am I to keep them stallbound?
It’s nice that the guy bothered to wash his hands.
 
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Given this day and age of unisex bathrooms, if a woman demonstrates this type of behavior we have the first "woke" letter to Penthouse magazine.
 
Alright, this has now happened enough times that it can't just be my paranoia or some coincidence. Every time I go in to use a urinal and someone is doing something unholy in the stall, it seems like they rush out of there to "join me" once I'm washing my hands. It's weird, because I'm the only other person in there and I'm obviously pretty close to leaving. Common sense would tell me they'd just wait an extra 30 seconds to exit the stall. But they don't; they fly out of there like bats exiting Hell.

So I'm just trying to figure out what the play is here, because there is obviously something they're aiming to achieve. Some things I have thought of:

1) In the event that the smell escapes the confines of the bathroom, they want to leave at least some level of mystery when it comes to who is responsible for it. Two guys walking out in succession at least creates some doubt, whereas them making the walk of shame on their own pretty much makes it an open and shut case.

2) They take a perverse sense of pride in what they've done, and they want me to see the man behind the curtain. I honestly think this is the case with some of them. I refuse to look them in the face, but they don't know that beforehand. And some will come out and immediately strike up a conversation and begin laughing. I'm just not sure how you could be in such a jovial mood in that setting unless it's because your plan is unfolding exactly as you intended.

3) They are employees who have been killing time on the can, and they think I might be their boss. Now this would probably be debunked quickly if they could see my pants/footwear, but I'm honestly not sure what the vantage point is like in there because I wouldn't do that in a public toilet even if the fate of humanity depended on it.

Is this something others have noticed? Is there a methodology to this madness that I've just never heard of to this point in life? Because I'm sick of feeling like me flushing a urinal is activating some sort of Rube Goldberg contraption that eventually leads to a a bowling ball landing on a 2x4 that catapults a man off the throne. It's to a point where I'm about to start having fake phone conversations while I'm peeing, "Yeah - this Leprosy really sucks, man. I feel bad for anyone who comes within five feet of me. Really takes my mind off the Polio, though." I don't mean to make light of a legit issue, but how the hell am I to keep them stallbound?
Please get authorized help!!
 
I haven’t noticed that particular habit but now that you mention it, I guess it has happened.

I work in a place that works long hours, just 4 days a week most of the time. I’m always amazed about the number of people who use the stalls. I find it unnatural, although in reality it is anything but. Anyway, I’ve always attributed to the number of ex milatary where I work.

Some guy I used to work with went to Clemson and they told me some old dorm there used to be a military barrack. He said the stalls just sat out in the open, side by side. Seriously, if I had to deal with that I would have transferred. I seriously think it is part of the plan of breaking people down to get them to follow orders that could get them killed.
 
Some guy I used to work with went to Clemson and they told me some old dorm there used to be a military barrack. He said the stalls just sat out in the open, side by side. Seriously, if I had to deal with that I would have transferred. I seriously think it is part of the plan of breaking people down to get them to follow orders that could get them killed.
The barracks for basic training at Fort Knox were like that. I had officer’s basic primarily at Fort Benjamin Harrison in Indianapolis but we went down to Fort Knox twice for some required physical courses like the Rifle Qualification, the Obstacle Course and the Two Man and Squad Level Side By Side Supporting Fire Cover and Shoot Courses. (The scene in Band of Brothers where the platoon attacks a German position in Holland was a textbook example of how to do that right.)

A week the first time and then 4 days the second. 57 degrees below zero with the windchill factor was the warmest it got.

I don’t think anyone used one of those stalls in 11 days. Luckily, we had access to the Officers’ Club and used their restrooms. It didn’t matter if it was 57 below and Midnight. People double-timed it to the O Club if they had to go.

Some of the remote public restrooms in Vietnam and Thailand were and still are worse (at least as of 2017 when I returned to Thailand with Masha.)
Imagine a long trough with boards with holes cut in the center spread every 24” along it for you to squat on. Then imagine it being co-ed and you having to bring your own toilet paper.
 
The barracks for basic training at Fort Knox were like that. I had officer’s basic primarily at Fort Benjamin Harrison in Indianapolis but we went down to Fort Knox twice for some required physical courses like the Rifle Qualification, the Obstacle Course and the Two Man and Squad Level Side By Side Supporting Fire Cover and Shoot Courses. (The scene in Band of Brothers where the platoon attacks a German position in Holland was a textbook example of how to do that right.)

A week the first time and then 4 days the second. 57 degrees below zero with the windchill factor was the warmest it got.

I don’t think anyone used one of those stalls in 11 days. Luckily, we had access to the Officers’ Club and used their restrooms. It didn’t matter if it was 57 below and Midnight. People double-timed it to the O Club if they had to go.

Some of the remote public restrooms in Vietnam and Thailand were and still are worse (at least as of 2017 when I returned to Thailand with Masha.)
Imagine a long trough with boards with holes cut in the center spread every 24” along it for you to squat on. Then imagine it being co-ed and you having to bring your own toilet paper.
Dignity is one of the first things they take away when you enlist.
 
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When I worked in a large plant with like 80 buildings, I would always find the most remote bathroom to use. I am not a big fan or public restrooms, let alone camaraderie of carrying on a conversation when I am there.
 
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