I envision TheSpecialSauce applying sunscreen to go cut the grass on a 65 degree day. He then comes into the house to tell his wife, "Gee whiz, there sure were a lot of grass clippings" before showering, dressing in very short khaki shorts with tube socks, and applying more sunscreen to sit beneath the living room light. His wife hands him a glass of lemonade - not too sugary - with exactly three ice cubes and then he becomes entranced in some movie on TV like Miracle on Ice, We Are Marshall, or The Natural. His wife asks if he would like some pretzels, but he kindly tells her the exact amount of milligrams of sodium he has already consumed that day and asks for baby carrots, instead. Feeling emotionally affected by the movie he just watched, he logs onto Pantherlair to post "H2P!," as if this is a virtual cheerleading guild and not a message board where people are actually allowed to criticize the team. By then it's 7:30, so he brushes his teeth with a soft-bristled toothbrush and flosses before returning downstairs to sit in his La-Z-Boy chair. He puts his sleeping mask (surprise, surprise - it has the Panther head logo on it) and headphones on and pops his "Sounds of Nature: A Caribou Bathes in a Peaceful Stream" cassette in the Walkman. "Ah, what a day," he thinks to himself.
