Have You Seen My Nuts?

[TheWerewolfFromTwilight]

Hi, I'm Pat. In the midst of celebrating a win in Charlotte last season, I seem to have lost my nuts. Since then, I cringe every time my team throws a football into the air. I even brought in a prehistoric rugby specialist to run my offense and ensure that we keep things within ten yards of the line of scrimmage, mostly on the ground: It just seems safer, even if we did fumble two games away to teams that would struggle to beat Yale.

Anyway, if you do happen to stumble upon two shriveled old jurassic nuts, they're probably mine. I named them 7 and 5, after the record I aspire to have every year while being smug with the media and acting like they don't understand what a godsend I was to Pitt.

Please call my landline at 412-NUT-LESS or send me a handwritten letter if you find them. I do not have access to modern forms of communication, because I'm smarter than you.

- P. Narduzzi
(Typed by my more technologically advanced neighbor, Barney Rubble)

 

[PittPanther44]

Didn’t land like you thought….

QB doesn’t have it. I just simplified the whole problem.

 

[TheWerewolfFromTwilight]

Didn’t land like you thought….

QB doesn’t have it. I just simplified the whole problem.

Yeah, that's not the only problem. This is a systematic issue. When every single player, aside from a running back, is worse than last year, the problem is at the top.

When Addison basically said he hated the direction of this offense, he wasn't lying.

 

[Section 509]

Hi, I'm Pat. In the midst of celebrating a win in Charlotte last season, I seem to have lost my nuts. Since then, I cringe every time my team throws a football into the air. I even brought in a prehistoric rugby specialist to run my offense and ensure that we keep things within ten yards of the line of scrimmage, mostly on the ground: It just seems safer, even if we did fumble two games away to teams that would struggle to beat Yale.

Anyway, if you do happen to stumble upon two shriveled old jurassic nuts, they're probably mine. I named them 7 and 5, after the record I aspire to have every year while being smug with the media and acting like they don't understand what a godsend I was to Pitt.

Please call my landline at 412-NUT-LESS or send me a handwritten letter if you find them. I do not have access to modern forms of communication, because I'm smarter than you.

- P. Narduzzi
(Typed by my more technologically advanced neighbor, Barney Rubble)

Lol one thing though where do you see 7-5 cause I don't see it we win one more game at best

 

[TheWerewolfFromTwilight]

Lol one thing though where do you see 7-5 cause I don't see it we win one more game at best

You're probably right. We've already played 3 of our 4 easiest ACC opponents. No reason to believe we're going to beat the better teams.